I am not one that has to be in control to feel happy or secure, but I do have to be in control when my husband is away and switch gears immediately when he comes back and those gears get a bit rusty at times. Yeah, we all have had poor-me times like that. I felt like I had to be responsible for everything and I felt overwhelmed and I was not getting any help, not from my daughter, my husband, my friends, or even my God. I even stopped reading books because I just could not enjoy them! I was just going along to get along but I was not happy. During that time, for me, it was why bother to get up early and be angry with her every morning, so I just went along to get along, giving in to her schedule thinking that at some point we would get back to where I liked it better.īasically, I did or allowed everything I could to make me lose myself so I would not feel depressed or angry or think too much of how I felt out of control, which did not really work because under everything was this anger that nothing in my life was going the way I hoped or planned or wanted. We set rules about no screens an hour before bedtime and gave her supplements to help her regulate her sleeping time, which took months to stabilize completely. Then when things fell completely apart for her in November of 2015, When the Train is on the Wrong Track, I decided that her emotional health had to take priority. So, part of me was trying to allow her to sleep and not be angry about it, which did not work well.
My daughter, particularly two years ago, was having sleeping problems so she often was not ready to start her day until mid morning, which made me feel like half the day was over by the time she was ready to do any lessons. Recently, I made a conscious decision to stop watching shows in bed on my computer and that made a huge difference.
#WHISPERINGS PIANO NOT WORKING SERIES#
To get my mind off of my loneliness, I began to watch some shows through Netflix online at night, real cliffhangers that make one want to series binge into the wee hours, unfortunately I am susceptible to TV addictions like that. It wears on me and I tend to sleep later and shorter periods when he is away. My husband is the one to stay up later for his alone time, but he works away from home most of the time and, at that some points, it is almost all the time for many weeks. Why the change in rising times? I think it was a culmination of many things. I felt like I lost a bit of myself and I felt a bit lost with God, as I explained in That Something Broken Between God and Me.
However, for about the last two years, I have not been. For most of my life, I have been an early riser, which means I also go to bed earlier.
0 kommentar(er)
